My love and appreciation for pregnancy and babies became elevated after I had several miscarriages. Truth is I always loved babies and was drawn to pregnant women even as a child. I dreamed of what being a mom was like. I wasn't playing pretend as a princess or tv character I was playing "mama" to all my stuffed animals as my babies. When I became an adult I couldn't wait to finally be a mom. But after having miscarriages my body and soul ached and I didn't have that same joy when thinking of motherhood. I knew I was meant to be a mother but did not know if I ever would be one. And then I questioned could I even feel complete if I was never a mom? No one understood. But then after three long months of being hospitalized, on complete bed rest, on magnesium and other meds to stop preterm labor, oh and yes bed pan included I couldn't even stand or I would contract, I gave birth (prematurely) to my first daughter, Breane. It was all worth it. Every single hard part of the journey was erased just by reaching down and touching her hand during birth. I never knew that type of unconditional love. I never conceived again. Fast forward. I went thru many failed rounds of insemination, IVF even ICSI trying to conceive again. Losses followed. I believe I developed PCOS from doing all that to my body. So bonus I didn't have another baby but always felt bloated, achy, and constantly looked pregnant! I decided not to try any longer. IVF was taking it's toll on my body (and mind) and I did have Bre and she did complete me so I was done. But then 7 yrs after giving birth I was blessed again, through the adoption of my second daughter Jessica. I was not on an adoption list and was not trying to adopt yet it happened. So if you are feeling how I was, please know miracles can happen.